The Death Note Detention Club
by ICauseChaos
Summary: My first fic. CrackFic! Warning OOC and rather random at times and AUish The gang discuss the reasons they have found themselves in detention. Because Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will- with disastrously stupid results.


**AN: Hi Guys, It's Jo here, posting her first fic. It's the product of my strange mind but dont be too harsh on me . Spelling and Grammar may be terrible as I haven't proofread properly. Oh well nevermind. Anyhow, Enjoy! **

**Prologue: Meet the Death Note detention club**

It was an ordinary day at Wammy house, and Christmas was nearing; classes having broken up for the Winter Break. However, as many of the children were orphans- or unwanted at home- the building was a full as ever, meaning more mayhem occurred during this time due to the children's newfound freetime and the boredom that accompanied it.

Roger Ruvie reluctantly walked down the frigid corridor flitting past the deserted classrooms which looked rather eerie and strange in the dark, disturbingly silent and empty. Further on he could hear the faint strains of voices emanating from the solely occupied room: Ah yes, the delinquents who were being retained here due to their misdemeanours did not seem happy.

The day that school breaks up is always rather chaotic, isn't it? This year was no exception: every gets overexcited and makes a show of giving each other little gifts, there were no lessons as such and the day was simply structure-less . Usually the school cast a blind eye to the revellers but such things can't ignored when blatant disregard for the rules is thrust under your face and these were the unfortunate who had done just that.

He sighed; it was his job to babysit them as all the teachers has gone home for the break and it was never an easy task. He would need a _lot _of coffee to get through this and that was exactly what he planned to do: drug himself up on coffee so he wouldn't have to put up with them any longer than necessary. They seemed to get worse every year, last year they had managed to give him such a headache, he was doped up on aspirin for a whole week. This was not his favourite part of the year. Not at all.

His hand lingered on the door handle longer than needed feeling the cold metal on his skin. "I must be crazy" he thought but then again, he must have been all the while to put with a bunch of scarily clever (and insane) kids as he did.

Slowly, he eased open the door, smiling as he saw 10 pairs of eyes whip round to meet his gaze. Looking around the room he noted there was rather a strange mix of people who sat there and he wouldn't have thought that any of them would have been silly enough to land themselves here, much less together. Silently and automatically he regarded them, dredging up the mental notes he had on each of them.

First, there was a tall red haired boy, absently twiddling his games console in his spinning fingers. In his other hand was a cigarette- naturally- the boy was a chain smoker. His gaze was fixed out the window as he surveyed the world through his strange orange goggles. So, Matt was here was he? Usually he was rather reticent and much preferred to stay out the way as he was always rather apathetic to his surroundings- however it was rather difficult to ignore due to his very unusual dress sense and the smoky halo which always surrounded his auburn head.

In the seat immediately next to him was a smaller blond dressed head to toe in leather who was staring straight ahead, idly munching on a chocolate bar. Roger inwardly chuckled to himself, Mello had always had a certain fondness for sweets. He wasn't surprised to see him here next to Matt. The two were very good friends and where one went; the other was bound to follow. However, unlike his calmer friend, he had a volatile nature, letting his emotions rule his judgement too much which so often led him to little spats with his classmates, so he was generally avoided.

Behind them was a petite blonde girl, dressed in a maid's dress, decked out in black lace. Her pigtails bounced animatedly as she talked to the girls beside her. Her voice was shrill and loud, and every five seconds she would break into a manic giggle. Her green eyes flickered excitedly round the room as she tried to cajole the rest of the rather depressed group in to talking to her. Misa-Misa as she dubbed herself was a nice girl but always hyperactive and had a vague saccharine sweetness to her. She was cute, but her presence could become cloying after a while, but overall she was relatively harmless.

Next to her was a younger girl who was smiling noncommittally along with her and nodding her head in time with Misa's insane ramblings, her dark hair swishing over her shoulders and brown eyes sparkling. In her small hand she held a pencil which hovered over the paper which, as usual was marred with mistakes and little doodles which were scattered randomly over the page. He knew Sayu always got her older brother to do her homework for her but mentally applauded her for having a go herself, which judging by her furrowed brow as she leant over the paper, was not very often.

In the middle of Misa and Sayu was Takada, a very rare edition to the fray. Usually the girl was beyond perfect, both in her grades and manners. She seemed unaffected by it though she smiles as she reclines in her chair languidly, her long legs crossed she paused every so often to regard or calmly interject. As ever, she was pristine: her short black her brushed under her chin and her makeup done flawlessly, the girl was so organized it was scary.

Quilish flicked his eyes to the next person who unrelentingly returned his gaze, his wide dark eyes unfathomable. L was always something of an enigma and was his (even if he would never admit it) favourite student at Wammy. The boy was unbelievably skinny and was dressed in clothes three sizes too big and his black hair was wild and unkempt and hung over his pale face obscuring his view. His expression was unreadable as he gave him a small smile and raised his thumb to his lips.

Across from him grasping his toy car in slim white fingers was Near. The small albino boy's full attention was on the car, his dark eyes following his every movement, one finger knotted around his white curly hair. The whole picture made him look very much like a small lost child –albeit one with an iq of over 200 and this was not helped by the fact he had decided to wear his pajamas to the occasion. In fact, he could not think of an occasion where he had seen the boy fully dressed,

Next to him were two boys nestled in the corner away from the others were two very quiet boys. Most would class them as geeks but they were nice boys. The one on the left had short brown hair and eager eyes as he smiled earnestly at his friend as he moved his piece up the board slowly advancing to the finish. The other growled at him, his eyes glaring as he picked up a card and carelessly discarded it back into the pile. He was obviously loosing and rather badly judging by his hunched over position which pushed his dark hair into his face. Of course, being geeks, Matsuda and Mikami would choose to play dungeons and dragons.

And last but not least, was Raito, a cocky smile gracing his small features as he surveyed his peers. His hands knotted together as his eyes followed the rooms every movement. He pointedly ignored his sister Sayu's desperate glances for help and L's impenetrable gaze as he carefully grabbed an apple from his desk and nonchalantly bit into it with an audible crunch.

Roger sighed, he definitely would need more coffee with this lot. Slamming the door he went to go get his caffeine fix.

When he was done, he turned down the corridor and winced when he heard the noise level had rose unbearably, it hurt his ears to and he didn't even want to think what was going on in the room . He opened the door once more and stood at the doorway as he watched utter chaos unfold in front of him, whilst the occupants- unaware of his presence carried on.

Everyone was out of their seats now, regardless of explicit orders not to until further notice was given and the first thing he noticed- how could anyone not? Was the annoying perky goth girl.

"Oh Raito!" she cooed across the classroom, earning a glare from the chestnut haired boy "Misa-Misa has missed yoouuu!"

"Misa, we have been apart for five minutes, how could you possibly miss me?" he retorted looking out the window away from her.

The blonde pouted but didn't give it much thought: immediately she took off running full speed towards him and collided with him with a thump and a squeal

GLOMP

Suddenly she was sitting on top of him and he was sprawled on the floor, she looked down on him with triumph and proceeded to cover him in lipstick kisses.

Across the room, someone snickered; Raito turned his head as best he could with limited mobility. Of course it was L, who was watching the scene with amusement in his eyes as he picked at his chocolate cheesecake. Everyone turned to look at him and Mello, who had run out of his chocolate stash and seeing the sugary treat dashed over to him.

"Oh L..." he said his eyes wide with greed

"No." L returned simply, taking a large bite of the slice to prove his point.

Mello was not to be outdone and tried to jump into L's lap to grab a piece for his self. Shocked by this L lost his balance and the chair overbalanced, sending Mello flying into Near. The albino boy looked up his face still expressionless but with murderous intent mirrored in his eyes. Slowly, a creepy smile on his face he grabbed the toy car and threw it at Mello. The blonde managed to duck and the toy car went flying into...

"Sayu!" Near gasped "I'm so sorry ... please forgive me" he said blushing profusely and bowing at the equally embarrassed girl.

"That's quite alright" she managed, flustered. Slowly she backed up to her seat only to trip backwards over Takada's leg and knocking backwards into a certain gamer.

Meanwhile, Matt was talking excitedly with Mikami and Matsuda about WoW. The two boys practically bowed at his feet since he was a Lvl. 100 druid and could easily hack the server to give them more points.

"...and I totally pwned that n00b and it was like, EPIC WIN!" he exclaimed, flicking his lighter to light the cigarette on his lips.

OOF!

It was then that Matt felt the pressure on his b ack as Takada collided with him. He hit the desk hard, headbutting Mikami in the process (he was in the way) and setting the game board a light as he involuntarily dropped the lighter onto it.

Matsuda reacted first, squealing and pulling his shirt off to fan the flames. Slowly, Mikami got to his feet and nursed the goggle shaped bruise Matt had left on his face. Matt managed to clamber to his feet too and rather than helping fan the flames he grabbed his previously forgotten cigarette, lit it and began to smoke it, bliss etching in his features as he got his nicotine fix.

Mello growled and grabbed the cigarette from his lips snubbing it out and when Matt grabbed his next packet but Mello was quicker and threw them out the window.

"You know you shouldn't smoke eh,_ Matty_?" He retorted smiling as the redhead winced at the nickname. However, Mello should have known not to mess with an addict. Ignoring him, Matt stood up, adjusted his goggles and jumped out the window to retrieve his precious smokes.

Mello was knocked backwards into Misa, who fell on top of L, starting the scrum all over again. As Roger watched the scene, he sweatdropped. He did not want to get involved with this so he slowly backed up and locked the door behind him and rushed to his office where he would watch the proceedings from the safety of his armchair on CCTV. When he was safely inside, he permitted himself a smile. This would turn out to be a very interesting social experiment, he decided.


End file.
